Boss called me in at 4:30 Tuesday. Said I’m the new Director. Big raise. My parents back home would think I am a king now. My father worked 12 hour shifts at the port for 40 years just so I could go to school here. I should be CELEBRATING. But I just feel like I’m drowning. The new role means travel. Lots of it. 3 weeks every month in cities like Dayton and Plano. I checked the flight times on my phone. 5:15 AM departures. That means leaving the house at 3:45 while everyone is asleep. My daughter is 4. She has this routine where she hides my car keys in the fruit bowl so I can’t leave for work. It’s a game. What happens when I’m gone for 5 days straight? Every single week? Am I the only one who feels like they are being punished for doing a good job? My wife wants the bigger house. She says her mother needs a real bedroom not a couch when she comes over. I get it. Family is everything. But I see the other Directors. They look gray. They have two phones and they never look up. One guy at the office hasn’t seen his kids play ball in 3 years. He told me that at the water cooler like it was a BADGE OF HONOR. I didn't know what to say. I just nodded like a fool. I sat in my car for 40 minutes tonight just staring at the garage door. I count the windows. 4 windows. 12 panes of glass. If I take this job I’m basically a ghost in my own house. I’ll be the guy on the phone screen while they eat dinner. My son is starting soccer. 8 games on the schedule. I’m going to miss 6 of them. I did the math. 6 out of 8. Is this what success is supposed to feel like? Does anyone else feel like they are TRICKED into this? You work hard to give them a good life then the work takes you away from the life you made. I’m 48 years old. I don't want to be a Director. I want to tie my son’s shoes and eat dinner at 6:30 PM. But I already told my sisters back home.