I don't even know why I'm writing this down. It’s not like anyone here *gets* it anyway, most of you sound like you're still figuring out which brand of avocado toast is least offensive. Me? I’m 48. Forty-friggin-eight. And I had a moment this week that just… shook me. Not in a dramatic, movie-scene way. More like, a slow, cold dread seeping into my bones. I was in court, presenting a motion. Big case, big client. The kind of thing that, even after all these years, still makes my stomach clench a little. But I know my stuff, always have. From the housing estates to this fancy office, I fought my way up. Every single detail, every precedent, burned into my brain. Or so I thought. Mid-sentence, right when I was about to cite the specific case law—the one that was the whole lynchpin of our argument, mind you—my mind just… went blank. Not a little stutter, not a momentary lapse. An *empty* space. Like someone had taken an eraser to a chalkboard in my head. I could see the judge, the opposing counsel smirking, my junior associate looking terrified, and I just… stood there. Stuttering a bit, trying to pull it out of the ether. It came back, eventually, a few agonizing seconds later. I smoothed it over, carried on like nothing happened, but my heart was doing a frantic little jig in my chest. And nobody caught it. Nobody. That’s the thing. Nobody saw it but me. And it should have felt like a punch to the gut, like a catastrophic failure. But it didn't. It just felt… flat. Like watching a bad play from far away. Like, oh. This is happening now. Is this it? Is this the beginning of the end of… everything? All those years, working my arse off, scraping by to pay for law school, the late nights, the stress, the endless pursuit of… what exactly? To forget basic facts in court? My parents, bless their hearts, would be so proud. “Our girl, the lawyer.” They wouldn't understand this. It’s not even about the job, not really. It’s about the feeling that the thing I always relied on, my sharp mind, my memory, is just… betraying me. And I’m not even that bothered. That's the scariest part.