I don't know if this even counts as a confession maybe it's just me getting old or something I just I think I'm losing my words and it's making me feel so incredibly small and stupid like I'm shrinking every single day shrinking and I can't stop it I just can't it started small you know like forgetting a name or where I put my keys that happens to everyone right that's normal that's what I kept telling myself normal normal but then it got worse it got so much worse it's like my brain just empties out when I need a word the most like a sieve a broken sieve every single day every day and it's not even hard words it's simple things like spoon or curtain or you know that thing the thing that you put flowers in a vase I used to paint flowers every day when I was younger I had all the words then I just can't remember them anymore the worst part is the homework and this is where I feel really really bad this is where I feel like a terrible mom my youngest he's ten he brought home this math problem and it was a word problem and he was struggling and he asked me what 'denominator' meant and I just stood there I just stared at him and my mind just went blank absolutely blank I knew the word I KNOW the word I used it all the time when I was in school I was so good at school so good at art and writing and everything and I just couldn't say it I just couldn't pull it out I just stammered something about like the bottom number and he looked at me like I was an alien like I was speaking a different language like I was useless he just went to his dad after that and that's fine his dad is great at math he's so practical and organized but I used to be the creative one the one with all the words all the stories for them and now I just stand there staring at the ceiling trying to remember 'conjunction' or 'adjective' it's like a block a physical block in my head and I feel like I'm failing them every single time I can't help them with their English homework or when they ask me what a certain word means I used to tell them all these stories all the time and now the words they just disappear I used to spend hours sketching and painting filling sketchbooks with ideas and words and now my sketchbooks are just empty they're just EMPTY just blank pages and I don't know if it's because the words are gone or if the words are gone because I don't create anymore it's a vicious cycle a really horrible cycle and I just feel so lost I feel so so alone with this I don't know what to do I don't know if I'm just getting old too fast or if I'm just broken I just want to remember the words again that's all I want I just want to remember the words again before it's too late before they stop asking me anything at all