Sometimes you just… you go all that way, thousands of dollars, to visit family you barely know in a country that's supposed to be "home" and all you feel is like a stupid, rude tourist, and then you get back to your actual home, your tiny overpriced apartment, and suddenly *that's* not home either because you spent a whole month feeling like an alien and now you're just… stuck, right? Like, this is stupid but it just makes me so MAD.