I just got back from a week at the beach, like, a whole week. My aunt paid for it, kinda a thank you for all the random odd jobs I do for her – weeding, moving stuff, she even had me organizing her spice rack once, lol. It was supposed to be amazing. Sun, sand, waves. Everyone else was SO PUMPED to swim. Like, every single day. But me? I spent the entire time in this stupid heavy long-sleeve shirt. My aunt kept being like, "Aren't you hot, sweetie? Go jump in the ocean!" And my cousins, they were all tanned and laughing, splashing each other. They’d be like, “Dude, come on! Water’s awesome!” And I’d just mumble something about not wanting to get sunburned, or feeling a little chilly, even though it was like 90 degrees out. It was SO STUPID. I packed like five swim trunks, all different colors, thinking I’d be, I dunno, buff or something by the time we went. Guess I thought a miracle would happen between my last gig and the trip. The real reason? My arms. My chest. Everything. I’m just... skinny-fat, I guess. Like, no definition at all. I see other guys on Instagram, even in my class, they got those abs, those shoulders. And I just look like a noodle. A pale, pasty noodle. The thought of taking that shirt off, even for a second, it felt like everyone would just STARE. Like they'd see how pathetic I look. So I kept it on. All week. Sweating my butt off, pretending to read a book, or "helping" my aunt with something inside. Anything to avoid the beach. It was hell. Pure hell. I even tried to like, sneak a swim once, really early in the morning before anyone was up. Got down to the beach, took off my shirt... and then some old dude was power walking and looked over, and I just froze. Pulled the shirt back on so fast it probably ripped. And then walked back to the house like a ghost. What an idiot. Missed out on actual swimming because of... what? Because I don't have a six-pack? Now I'm back home, and all my cousins are posting their beach pics – all tan and happy. And I’m in the background of some of them, a blurry figure in a long-sleeve shirt, looking totally out of place. It’s actually pretty funny, in a messed up way. Like, I went to the beach for a week and didn’t even touch the water. What a waste. And I still gotta pay rent this month, so no fancy gym membership for me. Guess it's back to ramen and hoping someone needs their garage cleaned out. Maybe next year I'll have a body that doesn't make me want to hide in a cave. Or maybe I'll just skip the beach altogether. Honestly... probably easier.