I’m here cause I need to get this out, probably no one will read it anyway. It's about my mom. She’s like… 70 now? Widow, couple years. My siblings and I, we all check in, you know? Call her, visit, bring her groceries. But lately, it’s like she’s just… deflated. Like a balloon that’s slowly leaking air, and you can’t see the hole but it’s just getting smaller and smaller. I was over there last Tuesday, dropping off some stuff from Costco. She was sitting in her big armchair, watching one of those murder shows she loves. And she looked at me, really looked, and just said, “I don’t know why I bother, really.” Just like that. No drama, no tears, just… flat. Like she was talking about the weather. I tried to make a joke, you know, “Oh, Mom, don’t be silly, you got us!” But it just hung in the air. I kept thinking, *is this what it looks like when someone just… gives up?* It’s a weird thing to watch. I mean, my mom, she was always so strong. Ran her own little business, raised three kids. Never complained. And now this. I remember my review last year, my boss said I “lack resilience in the face of unexpected change.” And I thought, *huh, guess I got that from somewhere.* Because watching her, it’s like a case study in what NOT to do. My job, it’s all about metrics, performance, projecting confidence even when you’re dying inside. My team, they look to me. I can’t be… that. I can’t just sit there and say “I don’t know why I bother.” It feels like she’s just… letting go. And honestly, it scares the crap out of me. Because if *she* can do it, someone so solid, what about me? And the worst part is, I feel like I *should* have an answer. I’m the eldest. I’m supposed to have it all together. My little sister, she’s all “Oh, Mom’s just having a moment.” My brother, he says, “She just needs to get out more.” Like it’s that simple. But I see it. The way she looks at nothing. The way she says, “Oh, don’t worry about me, I’m fine,” but her eyes are just… empty. It’s like her battery is just draining. And I don’t know how to recharge it. Or if it even *can* be recharged. It’s just… this quiet letting go. And I just don’t know what to do about it. It makes me feel really, really useless. And a bit like a hypocrite, cause I struggle with that stuff too, just not… out loud. Not like her. Not yet.