I’m 76 years old and I’m still chasing invoices at 2 in the fucking morning... been doing this since before most of these kids were born. I’m a "freelance creative consultant" now, which is just a fancy way of saying I have no health insurance and my spine feels like wet cardboard. My current client is this local literacy foundation... I love what they do, I really do. It’s important work, keeping the library alive in this shithole town... but I’m failing them. reasons I’m a goddamn coward lately: - the director, Sarah, asks for "bigger fonts" and I just do it - she wants that hideous neon orange that hurts the retina and I just click the mouse - I don't suggest the better layout... the one with the elegant kerning and the white space that actually breathes - I’m tired of the fight It’s a classic case of *learned helplessness*... I’ve spent fifty years fighting for the "golden ratio" and the right serif, and now, at this stage of the game, the fire is just... embers. They send over these Word docs that look like a ransom note and ask me to "make it pop" — a phrase that makes my teeth ache — and I don't even argue. I just fulfill the request like a vending machine. I’m supposed to be their visual advocate, but I’m just a goddamn tool. I know these flyers won't catch anyone's eye, and the donation drive will suffer because of it... it’s a failure of my professional ethics.