I'm sitting on the floor right now, just... the floor. With a lukewarm pad see ew container next to me, and the silence is so LOUD it's almost painful. For the first time in weeks, maybe months, it’s just me and the hum of the fridge. And all I can think about is how angry I am. So unbelievably, furiously angry. At him, obviously. At myself for letting it go on so long. At the sheer audacity of it all, that I spent another entire day pretending everything was fine, smiling at colleagues, nodding along to stupid meeting agendas, while inside I was just a screaming mess. Every single day, every day, it’s like this... a performance. And it’s exhausting. The city just keeps going, keeps rushing past my window, and I’m just… here. Stuck. He had the gall to text me, *again*, just as I was unlocking my apartment door. Like clockwork. "Hey, thinking of you." THINKING OF ME? After everything? It makes my blood boil, honestly. What is he thinking? That I’m some kind of idiot? That I’m just going to forget the past six months, the way he just… disappeared, then reappeared, then pulled some other stunt? And I almost responded. That’s the worst part, that I still almost did it, almost engaged. But I didn't. I just threw my keys on the counter, kicked off my shoes, and sat down here, on the cold hardwood floor, and now I’m just... eating this lukewarm pad see ew in the dark. And I hate him for making me feel like this, for stealing my peace, for making me feel like I have to fight for the one thing I actually need right now, which is just... quiet. Just... nothing. I keep replaying all the conversations, all the excuses, all the times I convinced myself it was fine, that it was *my* fault somehow. And the anger just flares up again, hot and immediate. Like a physical punch in the gut. I’m so angry I could scream, but I’m too tired. Too tired to even make a sound. And the silence is just... eating me alive. I should be happy, shouldn't I? To finally have the stillness? But it just feels like another weight, another thing pressing down. And I just don't know what to do with all this… this simmering, burning rage. It’s just… here. Always here.