i’m so tired all the time like my body feels like a sack of rocks and my legs just ache constantly but its fine right cause im still making deliveries faster than anyone else on the night shift i mean i know its probably not good that my legs feel kinda numb sometimes but i just figure its cause im pushing myself harder getting stronger you know like gotta keep that top spot on the leaderboard cause if i don’t then what even is the point im already barely sleeping between classes and work and trying to keep up with friends but if i just push harder i can do it i know i can i used to be pretty good at everything when i was younger like sports and school just kinda cruised through it all without really trying that hard and now its like i have to prove myself for every single thing and this bike courier job is the only thing i feel like im actually good at right now so i take all the extra shifts especially the late ones when no one else wants them cause those are when you can really hit those numbers and leave everyone else in the dust and yeah sometimes i almost fall asleep on my bike at red lights or get dizzy if i stand up too fast but its just cause im WORKING HARD not because anything is actually wrong i just wish i wasn’t so tired all the time like it’s this deep bone tired feeling that never goes away and when im not on my bike im just trying to keep my eyes open in lectures or stare at my textbook without actually reading anything and i keep telling myself its fine cause im basically superhuman right like i can run on fumes forever and still be the best but tonight i almost didn’t make it up that hill on elm street my legs felt like jelly and i swear i couldn't feel my toes for a minute and i still signed up for another triple shift tomorrow im just so tired and i cant stop