I’m writing this at 2am. It’s not a big deal but… I don’t understand why I feel so off about this. My grandmother, she’s 73. Still lives in the old neighborhood. We call every Sunday. She asks when I’ll marry, have kids. The usual. My parents—they expect it too. From our culture, it’s just… expected. I’m 31. This isn't that. She’s always been quiet. Knitting, cooking. Very traditional. Always complaining about her "bad back." So when I visited last month, I saw it. The glowing RGB keyboard under the kitchen table. The gaming headset hanging on a hook. I thought it was for one of the younger cousins. She just cleared her throat. “It’s for the game,” she said. No explanation. No further detail. Just “the game.” Later, I heard it. From her bedroom. The click-clack-click of a mechanical keyboard. Rapid fire. Then a male voice, tinny through a cheap mic, “NICE one, ‘BabaYaga73’!” BabaYaga. My grandma. I stood outside her door for a full minute. She was shouting. Not angry. Just… loud. Assertive. “Behind the rock! Push now!” Then a laugh. A genuine, uninhibited laugh I haven't heard from her since I was a child. It was… exhilarating. And horrifying. I didn’t say anything. I left early the next day. I can’t stop thinking about it. She’s out there, in some virtual arena, with people half her age, probably cursing and strategizing. While I’m over here trying to impress my boss, trying to meet my parents' expectations. Trying to project this image of stability. This is stupid but… I feel like she’s living some alternate life I’m not allowed to have. Like I’m doing everything “right” and she’s just… doing whatever she wants. And I don’t know why that makes me feel so… disoriented. I keep replaying the sound of her laugh. It was so… free. And I just don't get why that bothers me so much.