You know that feeling when you're just... scrolling, maybe looking for something, maybe nothing at all, and then BAM. A memory hits you. Not a good one, not a bad one, just... a really old one. I was doing that last night. Just messing around on some old social media, the kind no one really uses anymore, and I found these posts. From when I was, what, sixteen? Seventeen? It was after my first real heartbreak, and oh boy, I thought it was the END OF THE WORLD. And the things I posted. Oh my. So many dramatic song lyrics. Stuff like, "Will I ever love again, or is my heart forever broken?" Or, "The rain mirrors the tears I cry for you." I mean, REALLY. It sounds so silly now, so over the top. But in that moment, when I was that age, it was EVERYTHING. I truly felt that deeply. Like the world was just grey and music was the only thing that understood. And I think maybe... maybe I miss feeling things that intensely? I don't know if that makes sense. It makes me wonder, you know? Like, did I lose something when I grew up and learned to... I guess, not be so loud with my feelings? Because I'm fifty-something now, and I've had way bigger heartbreaks, way bigger disappointments. Losing out on that art scholarship, for example, that was a BIG one. Or having to give up painting professionally for a "real" job to pay the bills. And I didn't post any dramatic song lyrics about those. I just... dealt with it. Quietly. I sometimes think maybe I should have screamed it from the rooftops. Maybe I should have let myself feel it like that kid did. I don't know. It just makes me feel a bit... hollow, I guess. Like I traded something important for practicality. And I don't know if it was worth it.