Home/Grief & Loss/Anticipatory grief/ThoughtI have been monitoring the respiratory rate of my father for the last six hours. It is currently at ten breaths per minute.anticipatory griefhealth anxietyfamily obligation guiltShare this thoughtCopy linkShare on XDownload imageDoes this resonate with you?Share Your OwnBrowse MoreOthers have felt this tooI have cataloged the exact rate of my father’s cellular expiration like a rare, disintegrating manuscript. …anticipatory griefShe sits on that damn hardwood floor in the kitchen right next to the island, just leaning against the cabinets while that old lab of hers — Duke — tries to get enough oxygen into his lungs. …anticipatory griefI check my pulse every hour. …health anxietyI keep checking his pulse, hourly, like I’m in some fucked up clinical trial and a missed beat means *my* own heart will just stop mid-sleep – what the hell is this inherited dread, this vicarious… …health anxietyRelated ThemesRelief at lossUnresolved grief