i feel like a rat a real snake in the grass and it’s eating me up inside i really thought i was done with this feeling you know the one where you’re always just on the edge always hustling always just making it by but here i am again at 58 no retirement no pension just a couple of odd jobs here and there that barely cover rent and the family bakery which i LOVE don’t get me wrong it’s been my whole life but it’s just not ENOUGH anymore it’s never been enough for *me* not really my parents they were happy with their little slice of heaven same four walls same few recipes same old customers they never saw past that never wanted to expand never wanted to take a risk always said 'we’re comfortable we’re happy' and i guess they were but i wasn't i always wanted more always saw the potential so now i’m doing it i’m planning it i’m secretly talking to people i’m looking at locations even got a name picked out and it’s a franchise a whole new chain and it’s going to be huge i just know it but the guilt the absolute crushing weight of it all every time i see my dad in the bakery kneading dough humming some old tune i feel like i’m betraying everything they ever built everything they believed in like i’m spitting on their legacy but what about MY legacy what about what *i* wanted what *i* needed to do with my life before it’s too late before i’m too old and tired to even try anymore this is my last chance i feel it in my bones my parents they’d never understand they’d see it as a direct affront a slap in the face to all their hard work i know it’s wrong to hide it from them to go behind their backs but if i told them they’d shut it down immediately they’d never let me do it they’d probably disown me and then where would i be back to square one just an old man with a dream that died before it even started this way at least i have a chance a real chance to finally build something big something that’s MINE something that actually makes a difference financially i mean not just a passion project i just want to be comfortable for once not just scraping by you know i hate this feeling this feeling like i’m stealing something that belongs to them but it’s my life too right it’s my life i have to live it for myself for once i just wish i didn’t feel like such a terrible person for wanting more than they ever did.