I shouldn't even be awake right now because the baby is finally out but my brain is just on fire and I can't stop thinking about how much I hate everything about this city right now. I’m twenty-five and I’m supposed to be climbing the ladder and proving I haven't lost my edge just because I have a kid but the truth is I’m fucking exhausted and the rent is three grand and I’m back at my desk six weeks early because we need the money and I wanted to show them I'm still the person they hired. I put on this vintage silk blouse I bought at a consignment shop in Brooklyn back when I had a life and I thought yeah I look like a professional I look like I’ve got my shit together even though I only slept four hours and I’m pretty sure I have spit-up in my hair. Then the meeting happened and it was just a disaster from the start because Henderson was droning on about Q4 projections like it’s the most important thing in the universe and all I can think about is how much my chest hurts. I realized I forgot the pads in the diaper bag which was under my desk and not in my purse where they should have been and honestly I want to scream because I’m so smart and I can handle a million-dollar account but I can’t remember two pieces of cotton? The room was freezing but I started sweating and then I felt it—that heavy tingling sensation that means I’m basically a human faucet and there is absolutely nothing I can do to stop it in a room full of men in slim-fit suits. I looked down and there they were—these two dark damp circles spreading across the pale blue silk like some kind of sick joke and I just knew everyone could see. I tried to cross my arms but then I looked defensive and weird and Henderson asked if I had the updated spreadsheets and I just sat there frozen hoping the table was high enough to hide the damage but it wasn't.