Am I the only one who feels compelled to prioritize a friend's needs over my own well-being?

Many people find themselves in situations where they consistently put a friend's desires ahead of their own health or happiness. This feeling often stems from a deep sense of loyalty or responsibility. It's common to worry about letting someone down, even when it comes at a personal cost.

Research from the University of Michigan suggests that individuals who consistently neglect their own well-being for others report higher levels of emotional exhaustion.

See other perspectives

Does everyone prioritize a friend's needs over their own well-being?

Does Everyone?

Is it normal to prioritize a friend's needs over your own well-being?

Is It Normal?

Is it weird to prioritize a friend's needs over your own well-being?

Is It Weird?

Why do I prioritize a friend's needs over my own well-being?

Why Do I?

Real stories from the community

She had a certain vivacity, a kind of magnetic insouciance that just drew people in, and she knew it, too. …

toxic loyalty

I guess I'm just typing this out because I can't really talk to anyone about it, not in real life anyway. …

toxic loyalty

Am I the only one who cleans like EVERYTHING for my older brother all weekend and buys him food and he still acts like I’m the problem—like does anyone else just feel EXHAUSTED by that?

toxic loyalty

Like, I’ll spend hours there, scrubbing toilets, doing laundry, mopping floors, and then I’ll be like, "Frank, you really gotta try to keep it a bit cleaner, you know? …

toxic loyalty

ok so like i gotta get this off my chest and i know im gonna get ripped apart but whatever and im just like im up late studying for this stupid stats final and my brain is just fried and i cant focus… …

toxic loyalty

Frequently Asked Questions

What if my friend always expects me to put them first?▾
If a friend consistently expects their needs to take precedence, it can create an imbalanced dynamic. Consider whether this expectation is explicitly stated or implied, and how it makes you feel over time.
How can I tell if a friendship is becoming draining?▾
A friendship might be draining if you frequently feel exhausted, resentful, or depleted after spending time together. Pay attention to whether you consistently feel worse, rather than refreshed, after interactions.
Is it selfish to put my own well-being first sometimes?▾
It is not selfish to consider your own well-being. Attending to your own needs allows you to be a more present and engaged friend in the long run. It's about finding a sustainable way to connect.

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