Does everyone feel guilty wanting a loved one's suffering to end?

Many people grappling with a loved one's prolonged illness or decline experience a profound wish for their suffering to conclude, often accompanied by feelings of guilt. This complex emotional response is a natural, albeit painful, part of anticipatory grief. It reflects a deep compassion for the person enduring pain, rather than a desire for their absence.

Research indicates that approximately 60-70% of caregivers for individuals with chronic or terminal illnesses report experiencing feelings of guilt related to their loved one's condition or their own

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Am I the only one who feels guilty wanting a loved one's suffering to end?

Am I the Only One?

Is it normal to feel guilty about wanting a loved one's suffering to end?

Is It Normal?

Is it weird to feel guilty about wanting a loved one's suffering to end?

Is It Weird?

Why do I feel guilty wanting a loved one's suffering to end?

Why Do I?

Real stories from the community

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Albright yesterday. …

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As I trace the gouges on the kitchen doorframe, the ones from Mark's toy truck that Christmas of '78, I wonder if anyone else, after decades of structured existence, feels this acute disarticulation… …

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I see the water, you know, every single day, every day it just sort of… creeps a little closer to the rocks, and I think about the old lighthouse keeper, Finn, who swore he saw it coming even then,… …

anticipatory grief

And here this man was, watching his literal house disappear, probably his family's for generations, and there was this… profound melancholy radiating off him, even from across the sand and through my… …

anticipatory grief

Frequently Asked Questions

Why do I feel guilty wishing for an end to their pain?▾
Guilt often arises because the wish for an end to suffering can be misinterpreted by our own minds as a wish for the person to be gone. In reality, it stems from deep love and a desire to see them at peace, free from their current distress.
Is it normal to wish for death when someone is suffering greatly?▾
Yes, it is a common and understandable human response when witnessing immense and prolonged suffering in someone you care about. This wish isn't about rejection; it's about wanting relief for them from an unbearable situation, reflecting profound empathy.
What is anticipatory grief and how does it relate to these feelings?▾
Anticipatory grief is the grieving process that begins before an impending loss, often when a loved one has a terminal illness. These feelings of wishing for suffering to end are a core component, as you're already grappling with the emotional weight of their decline and impending absence.

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