I still can’t quite believe she’s gone, like actually gone, and I keep replaying the moment she announced it in the morning stand-up, just so sudden and professional, and I swear I felt a literal weight lift from my chest, like that constant knot in my shoulders just released and for a second I thought I might float out of my chair — and then I felt guilty for thinking that, but honestly, the past seven months have been a special kind of hell and I don’t even know what to do with all this sudden quiet in my brain.