I don't know if this counts as like a real confession, it's not like I stole something or cheated or anything bad like that. It's just... I think I'm lying to everyone. Like, all the time. My parents are both doctors, and they've always just *assumed* I'd be a doctor too, or like, a dentist since that's what I'm doing now. And I guess I just kinda went along with it? I'm 24 now, which feels super old, and I'm in dental school and it's SO hard. Every weekend I'm stuck in the library with these super thick books, trying to cram all this stuff into my head that I don't even really care about. It's just... I pretend like I like it when my mom asks about my classes, or when my dad tells me how proud he is. I just nod and smile and say it's "going good" but inside I just feel really numb. Or sometimes like, sick to my stomach. My parents worked really hard to get where they are, and they pay for like, almost everything for me, so I feel really, really bad even thinking this. They always talk about how I'm gonna have such a "good life" and "security" and all that stuff. But sometimes I just wanna like, paint. Or draw. I spend a lot of time just doodling in my notebooks when I'm supposed to be studying, and I get really lost in it. Like, more lost than I ever get in an anatomy textbook. I feel like if I told them I hated it, or that I just wanna make art, they'd be SO disappointed. Or they'd say it's just a phase. Or that I'm being stupid and throwing away my future. I don't know if this is like, a normal thing for people to feel? To just go along with what your parents want even if it makes you kinda sad. It feels really lonely sometimes, sitting in the library and everyone around me looks so focused and smart and like they actually WANT to be there. And I'm just here because... I don't know. Because I don't wanna let them down. It feels really crappy to even type this out. Like I'm ungrateful or something. Maybe I am. I just wish I could tell someone without them thinking I'm totally crazy.