I don't even know... like, what is WRONG with me? I was on this first date, right, super nice place, quiet, you know, the kind where you can actually hear yourself think, and I'm trying to make a good impression, totally put-together. He’s talking about, like, his portfolio, whatever, and I take a quick sip of sparkling water—just a sip—and then this HUGE burp, audible across the entire room, just ESCAPES me. I mean, it wasn’t even a *reflex*, it was like my diaphragm just... rebelled. My face went scarlet, obviously, and I just wanted to crawl under the banquette. Like, what even IS that? Is it a stress response? A dysregulation? I don't even— Ugh.