you ever just feel this kind of almost like a pathological protectiveness over something or someone totally unrelated to your actual life kind of thing like I spend hours sometimes late at night defending this podcaster online maybe he's just some guy right but you see the comments the critiques the sort of piling on and it just like triggers something in me it's almost a somatic response you know like my stomach clenches I feel this almost indignant rage like how DARE they say that about him it’s not rational at all it's like a deep primal instinct to like guard him from these perceived attacks and it's not like he's my brother or a relative or even a friend I've never met him obviously but this feeling it's so strong so visceral it's like a loyalty like I have for my oldest friends from back home the ones I grew up with the ones my parents chose for me in a way I guess and I don't get it I truly don't I'm 30 this year I should be focused on finding a husband maybe settling down starting a family my parents keep reminding me of this of my cousins who are already like having their second kids and my career is just sort of there I'm barely making ends meet but instead I'm here scrolling arguing with strangers defending this person who doesn't even know I exist it feels like a maladaptive coping mechanism or some sort of transference maybe I'm projecting something onto him but what I don't know it just feels like such a strong almost like an obsession and I don't know why it takes up so much mental energy so much of my time and for what just to feel this weird empty satisfaction when I shut someone down online it's not a healthy way to live I know this but I can't seem to stop it’s like an impulse control thing or something I just wish I understood the underlying etiology of this behavior