Parasocial attachment: You're Not the Only One

So there’s this young woman, she’s a vlogger, a YouTube person, whatever they call it. …

I’ve been watching this podcaster, a college student, sort of, who's quite popular, I suppose. …

you ever just feel this kind of almost like a pathological protectiveness over something or someone totally unrelated to your actual life kind of thing like I spend hours sometimes late at night… …

It’s a peculiar thing, this vicarious living, and I remember the distinct feeling of accomplishment that settled in my chest, a quiet, almost diagnostic satisfaction, as I’d arrange those spice jars… …

It’s an objectively stupid thing I do, this whole defending a podcaster thing, but here we are. …

So there's this YouTuber, she's like, a lifestyle vlogger, and she does a lot of skincare and makeup stuff, and she's just super sweet and wholesome, you know? …

You know, that inexplicable ferocity that surges when some youngster, perhaps a college student, dedicates hours to defending a digital personality—a podcaster, of all things—against slings and… …

Okay so like, I'm genuinely trying to figure out why this is even a THING for me, but I have this weird compulsion to buy EVERYTHING this one lifestyle vlogger recommends. …

I have been observing a behavioral anomaly within my financial allocation patterns. …

Like a burr under the saddle. …

Is it just me, or do you ever find yourself, well, *sublimating* your own… deficiencies, I suppose, into someone else’s triumphs? …

I remember a time, years ago, when the icebox was bare and the hunger was a sharp, insistent thing in the pit of you. …

Like, you spend hours—HOURS—arranging your pantry to perfectly mirror some aesthetically pleasing online creator's setup, down to the exact jars, the *labels*. …

And I keep thinking about how much time I’ve spent on it, and how much I… well, I guess I just care too much about something that doesn’t really have anything to do with me, and I know that sounds… …

parasocial companionship, a very specific type of delusion, to feel less alone with my meager meal. …

He's on a live stream, you see. …

i just spent like four hours minimum arguing on some random forum defending this pop idol and now it’s 2 am and i’m like… why. …

i just need to get this out bc it feels like a really specific kind of weird and i can’t figure out if it’s just me or like a thing but i’m a sahm i’m 30 and i follow this lifestyle vlogger she’s… …

I remember the way my knuckles used to crack when I worked at the cannery, cold mornings, hands plunged in brine. …

I just… the parasocial relationship is so clear and yet I'm… I just keep buying all the serums and the retinol and the… because she talks about needing to make rent and the algorithm is brutal and I… …