I know this sounds completely ridiculous, it’s not really a secret or anything, but it feels like one sometimes, like something I shouldn’t really talk about with Marge from bridge club or even my son, Michael, who just rolls his eyes if I mention any of my – well, my *hobbies* as he calls them. It’s just this thing I do, and it’s become... quite a thing. So there’s this young woman, she’s a vlogger, a YouTube person, whatever they call it. And she’s absolutely lovely. Just a ray of sunshine, always so bright and effervescent, even when she’s talking about something boring like her morning routine or what she eats in a day. And her skin, oh my goodness, her skin is FLAWLESS. Like porcelain, you know? And she’s always recommending these products, these serums and creams and tinctures, and she explains exactly what each ingredient does, how it works at a cellular level, the whole dermatological spiel. I mean, she sounds like a professional, even though she’s probably only twenty-four, twenty-five at most. And I started watching her a few years ago, when Jim, my Jim, passed. It was just something to fill the quiet, you know? And she reminded me a bit of my granddaughter, Sarah, before Sarah moved out to Oregon and we just kind of… drifted. Sarah was always so energetic, always full of ideas, always wanting to try new things. And this girl, this vlogger, she has that same spark. And she talks to her camera like she’s talking directly to you, like you’re her best friend, her confidante. She’ll say things like, "And you guys, you know how much I love you and I wouldn't recommend anything that wasn't truly amazing for your skin." And it just... it feels so genuine. Like she really means it. So I started buying a few things she recommended. Just a hyaluronic acid serum here, a vitamin C oil there. And my skin did feel a bit softer, a bit plumper. And then she’d do a whole video on, say, retinoids, and the science behind cell turnover and collagen production, and I’d think, "Well, she’s right, I really should be doing that." And then she’d mention an expensive eye cream, and she’d say, "I know it’s a splurge, but think of it as an investment in your future self." And I’d buy it. Because, well, it *is* an investment, isn’t it? And what else do I have to invest in? It started to accumulate, the products. My bathroom counter is just... a veritable apothecary now. There are stacks of little bottles and jars and tubes, all neatly arranged. And every time she posts a new video, especially if it’s a "holy grail" product or a "must-have," I feel this compulsion. It’s not just about the product itself, though I do want good skin, of course. It’s more… it’s like I’m supporting her. She’ll say, "Your support means the world to me, it helps me keep creating content for you all." And I think, "Yes, darling, I understand. I’m here for you." I feel like I'm part of her community, part of her success. Like I’m her silent patron, almost. And it’s a lot of money, honestly. I mean, social security only goes so far in this city, and rents are just astronomical now. I cut back on a lot of things. I don’t go out to eat as much, I wear my clothes until they’re practically threadbare, I haven’t taken a proper vacation since Jim died. But I always make sure I have enough for the latest product she’s raving about. Sometimes I even buy two, just in case one sells out, or if she says it’s a product that "every woman needs." It’s a very peculiar form of financial outlay, I know. It's almost... a vicarious investment in her youth, her future, her… vivacity. It’s just, when I see her, so young and full of life and radiating confidence, and she’s talking about how important it is to take care of yourself, to pamper yourself, it feels like she’s talking directly to me. Like she’s the granddaughter I wish I still had close by, and I’m just doing my part to help her shine. It’s not like I expect anything in return, not really. It’s just… a connection. A quiet, one-sided connection across the internet, built on expensive serums and the illusion of shared purpose. And I wonder, sometimes, if she ever thinks about the elderly women, the grandmothers, who are watching her videos, buying her products, pouring their quiet devotion into her digital sphere. I don’t know. It’s probably just silly, isn’t it?