you ever just like stare at your phone you know like literally just stare at the home screen and it's not even a blank screen it's got all your apps and widgets and whatever but your brain is just a total blank even though you have like a THOUSAND things to do and you just… don’t do them. that’s me most days lately or like most mornings let’s be real it usually hits hardest when i’m supposed to be like starting my day you know getting things done before the actual work starts and it’s not even a big deal stuff it’s like empty the dishwasher or answer that one email that’s been sitting there for three days or like drink water you know actual basic human functions and i just can’t like my hands feel glued to my sides my eyes just drift across the screen like i’m waiting for a sign from above to tell me what to do next it’s wild dude it really is i used to be so good at this like i ran a whole department at my old job i juggled clients and deadlines and like a whole social life too and now i can’t even remember if i brushed my teeth without a reminder so yeah you know how everyone and their abuela has a virtual assistant now some like super chill millennial who’s like "let’s optimize your workflow" or whatever i always made fun of them like dude just get your shit together what do you need a babysitter for ha ha very funny me well the joke’s on me because i got one. not like a full-time one just someone for a few hours a week to like help with admin stuff mostly clients and invoices and trying to figure out which goddamn project needs attention when because my brain just short circuits looking at my to-do list and it started innocent enough she’d send me these little bullet points you know a quick email like "hey just a reminder for monday get that draft to client x by 10am then circle back on the revisions for project y" simple stuff i didn’t even ask her to do it she just kinda started doing it after i kept missing deadlines and acting all flustered on our calls it was like she saw the chaos festering in my brain and just decided to act like a goddamn lighthouse in the fog for me but then it started to creep into everything else like i’d get up and stare into the fridge wondering what to eat for breakfast and my phone would ping with her email a new one this time not even work related just like a casual "ps. make sure you grab that almond milk from whole foods later for your coffee" or "don't forget to take a walk after your lunch break it's good for your eyes" and i swear to god i actually felt a sense of relief like oh THANK GOD someone told me what to do next i don't have to think about it and it’s not even just the big things it’s like the little minutiae the stuff that you don’t even think about anymore until you have to consciously think about it again you know like deciding if i should wear the blue shirt or the grey shirt to that video call and i’ll almost instinctively wait for her morning email that lists out my schedule and usually includes a little suggestion like "client z likes a more formal vibe" which means the grey shirt duh because who has time to even process what "formal vibe" means anymore not me the other day i literally had to ask her to put "take out the trash" on my daily reminders because i kept forgetting and the bin was overflowing for like three days and she just did it no questions asked just a simple "done adding that to your daily brief" and i just sat there staring at my screen feeling nothing just...