i just got back from this fancy grad student dinner — like, all these shiny people in suits and shit and im wearing my one good dress that i bought on sale like 3 years ago and praying no one notices the little stain on the sleeve. and everyone’s talking about their gap years in europe or like, family ski trips in switzerland, or some fucking exotic shit, and im just sitting there, sipping my cheap wine, pretending to be SO interested in their stories about their parents’ yacht or whatever, when all i can think about is like, can i afford rent next month. it's so EXHAUSTING faking it, man. like, every single day, every day.