Friendship fakeness: You're Not the Only One

I was talking to someone the other day, you know, one of those people I see like, weekly, for years now, at that thing, and it just hit me—they don't even know anything about the person who was with… …

I observe, now, that the only consistent variable in my work friendships was their intermittent demand for information — specifically client presentation strategies or intel on impending headcount… …

you know sometimes you just look back at your whole life and realize how many times you’ve been duped by superficial kindness... …

But seriously, it’s like living in some kind of weird social experiment, except no one told me I was the subject. …

My big adventure before the clock really, truly runs out. …

Not contingent on my ability to drop seventy bucks on a few rounds of artisanal cocktails. …

You know that feeling when you realize you've been living in a little bubble, thinking you've built something real, and then it just... …

You know sometimes you just look at your life and wonder how you ended up here how you made all these choices and suddenly it’s not making sense anymore I guess that’s what happened to me this… …

I’m a freelance designer. …

I don’t know if this even counts as a confession, I mean, it’s not exactly a secret, but I just feel… so alone, even when I’m not. …

I was a bridesmaid last month. …

I observe, sort of clinically, that my social engagements now primarily involve the performance of friendship for a camera, a sort of still-life tableau at the new cafe down by the highway, followed… …

I remember my college dorm being so loud, full of shouting and music, but now I watch my kid sitting in a room with three other boys, all of them staring at phones, sharing memes in a group chat when… …

It's a bitter pill to swallow, isn't it, when you realize the pleasantries are just transactional. …

You know that feeling when you're standing there, in this absurdly expensive dress you can barely afford—because, freelance life, amirite? …

" Like I'm some kind of walking rumor mill or a free consultant. …

There's a discernible pattern, almost a statistical anomaly, in the timing of their contact. …

i remember thinking i was so smart in my 30s being a marketing exec and all that but looking back i was just… an idiot. …

I just realized, like, everyone just stopped inviting me to happy hour, you know? …

Something beyond the optimal spread rate for Bermuda grass seed or the relative merits of specific power washers for a driveway. …