I gotta get this out somewhere. Anywhere. I’m so damn tired. Not like, physically tired, though yeah, that too, dealing with mom and her doctor appointments and the house, and trying to keep an eye on my oldest, she’s almost 18 and thinks she knows EVERYTHING. But mostly tired in my head. Like my brain is just… full. Of everyone else’s crap. At work, it’s even worse. I work at this place, a non-profit, right? Which sounds all good and everything, and for a while, it felt good. Like I was DOING something. But lately? Man. The people there, they’re all… so conservative. And I’m not. Like, AT ALL. And I have to sit there, in meetings, or just at my desk, and listen to them. All day. Talking about "welfare queens" and "personal responsibility" and how “the liberals are ruining everything” and I just… I have to nod. I have to smile. I have to say things like “hmm, interesting point” or “I see what you mean.” And it KILLS me. Inside. Every time. It’s like a little piece of me dies. Because what they’re saying? It’s not just dumb, it’s… mean. It's against everything I believe in. Everything I’ve tried to teach my kids. But if I say anything, if I push back, even a little bit… I just can’t. I really can't. This job, it pays the bills. It’s got good insurance, which we need for Mom, and for my daughter, you know, just in case. It’s stable. And honestly, finding another job at my age, with everything else going on… it feels impossible. So I just sit there. And nod. And pretend. And then I come home, and I’m just EMPTY. Like I’ve spent all day being someone else, and there’s nothing left for me. Or for my family, really. Sometimes I think about what would happen if I just… stopped. If I just stood up in the middle of a meeting and yelled, “ARE YOU KIDDING ME?!” or something. Just once. But then I see my mom's face, her worried eyes, and my daughter needing new sneakers and wanting to go to that art college thing… and I just shrink back down. And I nod. And I smile. And I feel like a total phony. A sell-out. And I wonder if anyone else feels this way, ever. Like you’re just… pretending your way through life to keep everyone else afloat. And sometimes, late at night, I just wish I could scream until my throat hurt and no one would hear me. Just scream out all the things I can’t say.