I guess I just gotta get this out somewhere, even if it's stupid. It’s not like, a BIG deal, but it kinda sits there, you know? Like a rock in your shoe you can’t quite shake out. It’s about these loans. For work. I’m a bank manager, been doing it a long time. People here, they know me. It’s a small town, everyone knows everyone else’s business, even if they pretend they don’t. My parents, they still live here. Kids are grown but they come visit, gotta keep up appearances for them too. It’s just… a lot sometimes. The thing is, there’s this industry in town. Manufacturing. It’s pretty much the main game. Everyone works there, or someone they know does. And I gotta say, privately, I got some real issues with how they operate. Environment stuff, labor stuff – just… not great. You hear things. Little bits from people who work there, little bits from the news, if you look. It just doesn't sit right with me. I see the numbers, I see the reports, and something in my gut just says "nope." But then they come in, they apply for big loans, and I'm the one who approves them. The pressure, man. It’s not even direct. No one says “you HAVE to.” It’s more like, the air around you. The Rotary Club meetings, the town council, the church bake sales. Everyone talks about how important these jobs are, how they keep the town alive. My wife, she’s always saying how nice it is we don’t have to commute far, how stable things are. She doesn't really get into the details of the business side, she just sees the good. So I sit there, across the desk, looking at the paperwork, knowing what I know, and I just… sign. Every time. It’s like a reflex now. And when I do it, there’s this feeling. Like I’m watching myself. Like an outside person, watching me, the bank manager, doing the right thing for the town. Being a good guy. And I hear myself saying things like, "Glad we could help keep things moving," or "Good for the local economy." And it’s true, in a way. It does keep things moving. But it also feels like… I don’t know. Like I’m selling something. Or someone. And then I go home, and my mom calls about her leaky faucet, and my son needs advice on his mortgage, and it all just gets folded back into the regular noise. It’s just… I don’t feel good about it. But what am I supposed to do? Blow the whistle? Lose my job? Move my whole family out of the only place we’ve ever really known? For what? To feel a little better inside? It’s not like it would even change anything, probably. Someone else would just sign the papers. So I just keep doing it. And every time I do, I kinda feel like a bit of a fraud. It’s not like I’m a bad person, I don't think. Just… stuck, I guess. It’s late. Maybe I should just try to sleep.