I'm finally saying this out loud, or like, typing it out at least, because it's been eating at me, you know? Like, I'm pretty new to the corporate world, just graduated, and I thought I had it all figured out, but this one thing at my job... it's just WEIRD. So, I’m a middle manager now (which is kinda cool, actually, for my age) and my whole department is basically all parents, like, suburban types, you know? And I don't have kids, obviously. I'm barely an adult myself, still figuring out how to, like, do my laundry without shrinking everything. But I quickly realized that to fit in, to really connect with them, I kinda had to, I don't know, *pretend* to be a parent too? It’s not even like they're explicitly asking, it’s just the vibe. All the talk is about school plays, or potty training, or getting enough sleep (which, relatable, but for totally different reasons). So, I started doing this thing, and it’s actually SO embarrassing to even write down. I found some random stock photos of kids online – super cute, like, smiling little toddlers and a slightly older kid playing soccer – and I printed them out. And they're on my desk now. Like, right there. It looks like they’re my kids. And people comment on them! They’re like, "Oh, your daughter is getting so big!" and I just smile and nod and make some vague comment about how time flies. (Which it does, I guess, for someone else's kids.) It makes them feel like I *get* it, you know? Like I'm part of the club. And it's worked, I think. I feel more included in the casual chat, my ideas seem to get more traction in meetings, people are way friendlier. It's messed up because it feels like I HAVE to do it to advance, almost. Like, it's not even about being a good employee, it's about having kids, apparently. The worst part is when someone actually asks a detailed question, like "What school does your son go to?" or "How old is your youngest again?" and I have to, like, quickly pull some random detail out of thin air. Or change the subject REALLY fast. And sometimes, I'll catch myself looking at the pictures and feeling this weird pang, like, "Who ARE these kids?" It just feels so fake and wrong, but also… effective? It's like I'm playing a character, this "family man" character, and I'm just so tired of it. I just want to be myself, but I feel like I'd lose all this, like, professional street cred if I suddenly admitted "Oh, these aren't my kids, I just grabbed them off Unsplash." The thought of that is MORTIFYING. What if someone looked them up, oh my god... I don't know what to do. It’s definitely not sustainable.