I'm sitting on the floor by the radiator and it's making that clicking sound like teeth hitting a glass. Its 2am and the house is so quiet it hurts my ears. I got my phone tucked under my shirt so the light dont wake up Sarah. My hands are still black under the nails from the shop today and no matter how much I scrub they stay looking dirty. It feels like my whole life is just that... just dirt that wont come off no matter how much soap I use. I feel like a ghost in my own skin and it's making me sick. Every night at seven we sit in the living room and the carpet is thin and smells like old dust and the dog. I have to be the one.