You know that feeling when something completely stupid just hits you right in the chest and you can't even explain why? It’s like humans are built with these weird little tripwires that we don’t even know are there until we trip over them. You’re just moving through your day, doing the things you’re supposed to do, and then some random 30-second clip of a mom folding towels in the sunlight makes the world feel like it’s ending. It’s embarrassing to even talk about (honestly, I feel ridiculous just typing this out) but it’s like the commercial was a version of life that doesn't actually exist for people like us. I was sitting on the floor, probably folding my own actual laundry that felt ten times heavier than it should. My older brothers were right there on the sofa, just taking up space and being loud (they always took up so much space without even trying). Then that stupid music started—that slow piano stuff they use to sell you soap—and I just lost it. I wasn't just leaking a few tears, I was SOBBING. It was like every bit of pressure I’d been holding in for months just decided to come out over a Tide ad. Of course they saw it. They started howling, just absolute CRUEL laughter because that’s what people do when they don't understand what they're looking at. They were shouting stuff like "is she seriously crying over a detergent bottle?" and making these fake sobbing noises to mock me. I felt so small, like I was shrinking into the carpet while they just got bigger and louder. You ever feel like you're an alien trying to pretend you're human but you're failing the test? That's what it felt like. I couldn't explain that it wasn't about the soap, it was about the idea that someone, somewhere, might actually have a life that feels that clean and quiet. We spend so much time pretending we’re fine because it’s easier than trying to explain the "why" of it all. If I told them why I was really crying, they wouldn't have even known what to do with that information. We walk around with these huge, heavy internal worlds and all anyone else sees is a girl being "dramatic" or "sensitive" or whatever word they want to use to dismiss you. It’s lonely, realizing that the people who have known you your whole life don't actually know you at all. They just see the surface and assume the rest of the ocean is empty. Now that I’m home all day with a baby, I think about that moment a lot.