Sibling jealousy: You're Not the Only One

so like anyone else ever just feel like you’re watching your life happen from a really bad seat in the cheap seats you know like everyone else got the good tickets and you’re just there squinting… …

Sometimes you just find yourself staring at the ceiling at 2 AM, right? …

Like, I went to culinary school, I paid for it myself, I put in the hours, the actual sweat and tears over hot stoves, learning classic techniques, the precision of it all. …

The family home. …

You know how it is, sometimes you just see it all play out, like when your parents throw a big ol’ dinner party with the good china and the store-bought cake for your brother's C in algebra and… …

Big shindig, like, my mom pulled out the good plates, which is rare. …

I remember when it started, like a shift in the air, a faint metallic taste at the back of my throat. …

I guess this is kind of stupid but I sometimes feel this… ache, you know? …

I've been on autopilot so long I sometimes forget what it's like to just… feel something besides this dull ache behind my ribs you know. …

The kind where you have to hold the bowl and it smells like a sewer explosion and you just… you just want to cry. …

God I'm so tired you guys anyone else ever just feel like a damn ghost in your own life like you’re there but you’re not *really* there just kinda floating around while everyone else is out there… …

bc like my brother pops in once a year for christmas and suddenly he's the SON OF THE YEAR for bringing a box of those fancy shortbread cookies and my mum's all "oh darling you're so good to your old… …

My academic scholarship to State. …

They just nod, their eyes already drifting to the baby monitor. …

But it’s just this flat, dull ache now, like a bruise you don’t even remember getting. …

i swear sometimes I just wanna scream into the void you know that feeling we all get when you’re just DOING everything for everyone and then my brother breezes in like he’s some kind of hero for… …

feel like a sourdough starter that never quite bubbles up, you know? …

I just watched them bust out the good china for my bro’s C+ in pre-calc while my scholarship letter sat on the fridge under a magnet. …

This whole stay-at-home parent thing, it strips away so much of your prior identity, doesn’t it? …

Anyone else ever watch someone you love just— *buy* something huge for your parents, like a whole-ass luxury car, and you're just standing there, a store manager, knowing you could never in a million… …