i know this is stupid but… i just found myself staring at the empty room and it’s been months, like five months since leo left for boarding school, and i just… stopped. like a car running out of gas right in the middle of the highway. it’s not a big deal but i’m 58, been a corporate exec forever, like built a whole career out of being the person who never stops. always on, always pushing, always got the next thing lined up before the current thing is even finished. my whole life has been like that. from school straight to work straight to marriage straight to kids straight to running a department straight to sending the last one off. and now… nothing. i keep thinking i should like, be doing something. picking up a new hobby, learning a language, going to the gym, whatever. all the things people say you should do when the nest is empty. but i just… can’t. i just sit there sometimes, looking at the wall. the other day i missed a huge deadline. a DEADLINE. i’ve never missed a deadline in my life. my team was like where’s the report and i just… forgot. completely blanked. it’s not even like i was doing anything else. i was just… existing. it’s like my brain just went poof. it’s probably just tired right? years of being the primary everything. the primary breadwinner, the primary scheduler, the primary emotional support for everyone in my orbit. and now that everyone is grown and off doing their own thing, my battery just drained. but it feels… weirder than that. like the whole reason for doing anything just vanished. all those years i was working so hard for them, for their future, for their opportunities. and now they have them. and i’m just here. like, what’s my assignment now? what’s the next thing i’m supposed to crush? bc i got nothing. and it’s kinda terrifying.