i was in the library yesterday during finals week the main reading room you know the one with the huge windows and all those long communal tables where everyone pretends to be studying but is secretly watching everyone else and it was SO quiet you could hear a pin drop literally it was that intense energy where everyone is just vibrating with stress and i was trying to cram for my art history final which honestly i just dont care about anymore after all these years but i need the credit and my stomach starts rumbling not like a cute little discreet rumble either like a full on construction site happening inside my abdomen and it just gets LOUDER and LOUDER i swear the whole table paused and looked up from their laptops like 'what IS that sound' and i just froze staring at my medieval illuminated manuscript slides trying to become one with the textbook honestly i was mortified i mean i'm sixty-seven years old i've raised three kids i've been through a lot of embarrassing moments but this felt different like a public performance of my bodily failings and i knew what it was too i’d skipped breakfast because i was rushing to get here early for a good spot and then i just kept going working through lunch because i had to finish this paper and i didnt want to break my concentration and then suddenly my body decided to stage a protest at the absolute worst possible moment right there in front of all these twenty-somethings who probably think i should know better by now and i just felt this wave of like deep existential tiredness like here i am again pushing myself to the brink for another arbitrary deadline and for what exactly i ended up just packing up my stuff very slowly trying to act like i totally meant to leave anyway and i walked out of there without even looking at anyone and i just went straight to the cafeteria and bought the biggest greasiest burger they had and sat there eating it alone feeling like a total failure and a rebel all at once and i kept thinking about how i used to do this all the time when i was younger sacrificing basic needs for some abstract goal and here i am decades later still doing the same damn thing and still getting caught out by my own stupid body so yeah i guess that's it i just needed to say it out loud i’m still really annoyed about it and also kind of proud that i just ate that entire burger i mean who cares really it’s just a stomach growl but it felt like the whole world was judging me in that moment and i just cant shake it i can still hear it reverberating in my ears like a gong and i still have that final tomorrow morning and i probably wont sleep tonight because of that burger and the art history...