I just need to get this off my chest, I guess. I feel stupid even typing this out, like who cares, really. But sometimes you gotta just… put it out there, even if no one reads it, right? We all do stuff we regret, or wish we could rewind. Or maybe that's just me. I dunno. This whole thing with my spouse… it’s been weighing on me. Heavily. Someone I care about a lot, my spouse, they work really hard. Like, HARD. Night shifts, public hospital, you know how that is. It's a lot. And lately, they’ve been… not themselves. Losing weight. Forgetting to eat, even during their long shifts. Twelve-hour ones, back to back. And I’ll ask, like, "Hey, are you okay? You look kinda… thin." And they'll just wave it off. "Yeah, yeah, I'm fine. Just busy." That's the go-to. "Busy." Like that explains everything. And the thing is, I KNOW they're not fine. I can see it. But what am I supposed to do? Pester them? Nag? Then I’m the bad guy, the one who doesn’t understand how important their job is. How vital. How they’re saving lives. And here I am, home all day, watching… well, watching that thing, you know? The general decline of everything. My parents are getting older, the kids are grown but still need… stuff. And I just feel like I'm stuck here, seeing all this happen, and can't do anything about it. Or maybe I don't *want* to do anything about it because deep down, there's a part of me that just wants to be… seen. For once. It makes me feel like a horrible person, even thinking that. Like, my spouse is literally running themselves ragged, probably because they feel like they have to, for US, for the family, and I’m sitting here feeling sorry for myself. That’s probably it. I’m just feeling sorry for myself. Humans are selfish, aren’t we? Even when we try not to be. We always come back to our own little wants. I just… I miss feeling like someone had my back too, you know? Like I wasn't just the background noise. So yeah. My spouse is wasting away, basically. And I’m letting it happen. Because I'm scared to say the wrong thing. Or maybe, because a tiny, awful part of me is just so tired of being the one who’s always "fine." Even when I’m not. And I feel guilty, but also… relieved? No, that’s too strong. Just… tired. So tired. It's a mess. And there's no easy answer. Just this… feeling. This heavy, silent thing in the house.