okay this is gonna sound so stupid and I like can’t believe I’m even typing this out but like does anyone else ever feel… I don't know… guilty? for stuff that isn’t even your fault? like okay so there was this rally last weekend, downtown again, and my friend Sarah wanted to go and I was like yeah sure whatever, it’s good to go, right? to like show up? and we were there for a while and like everyone was yelling and holding signs and it was really loud and crowded and I just kinda… looked around? and it was mostly like, I don’t know, older people? like really old, like grandparents age, and like yeah there were some people my age but it wasn’t like, MOSTLY us, you know? and I just kinda got this feeling, like this really gross feeling, like they were all looking at *us* like it was our fault they had to be there. Like if *we* were doing enough, *they* wouldn’t have to. and like I KNOW that’s a messed up thing to think, like it’s just my brain being dumb, but it wouldn't go away. Like I was looking at this one lady, she had this sign about housing costs, which like, YEAH, rent here is crazy, my parents are always freaking out about it, and she looked so TIRED, like genuinely exhausted, not just from the rally but like from life, you know? and she caught my eye and like smiled this really tired smile and I just immediately felt this SHAME, like I should be doing more, like I should be out there every single weekend and I’m not. And it’s not even like I don’t care, I do, I just… I don’t know. I mean I don't even — whatever. Like sometimes I just wanna hang out and play games or just chill with my friends, like sometimes it just feels too BIG, all the problems. And then I kept thinking about it all week, like when I’m scrolling on my phone and seeing all the news, it just makes that feeling worse. Like, am I the only one who feels like the world is just kinda… breaking? and it’s kinda our job to fix it all and we’re not? Like my parents were saying something about how things used to be, like how when they were younger there was more hope or something, but it just sounds kinda lame when they say it, like they kinda dropped the ball themselves, no offense. But then I get that feeling again, like maybe it’s MY generation that’s gonna screw it up even worse and I’m not doing anything about it, I’m just sitting here feeling bad instead of DOING something. It just feels like there’s so much pressure and I just want to… not. Anyone else ever feel like that? Like you’re just failing before you even start? This is so embarrassing to even write.