Okay so like I work at the library. Part time. It’s a good job. My parents were happy I got it (they like that it's quiet). I’m married. Fifteen years this year. Three kids. You know. Normal life. It’s what everyone expects. What I expected. And then she started. New librarian. From out of state. She’s... different. Not like people I know. She laughs a lot. Not loud, but like, from her stomach. And she wears these sweaters. Bright colors. And her hair is short. Really short. (It makes her eyes look huge.) At first it was nothing. Just coworker stuff. "Can you help me with this cart?" "Where do these books go?" Little things. We'd talk about patrons. The weird ones. The sweet old ladies. She has a way of making everything funny. Even when it’s annoying. I started looking forward to her shifts. (Which is weird because I usually just want to go home.) Then one day, she brought in homemade cookies. Chocolate chip. She made extra. Gave me a little container. Said, "For your kids." But then she added, "Or you know, just for you. If you need a secret stash." And she winked. And my stomach did a flip. A real flip. Like when you go down a big hill fast. After that, things felt… different. I noticed her more. The way she bites her lip when she’s concentrating. The way she smells like old books and something sweet (vanilla maybe?). We started eating lunch together sometimes. In the break room. Just us. We’d talk about everything. Her old life. My kids. My parents. (She totally gets the "parents from the old country" thing.) One afternoon, a kid spilled juice ALL over the new releases. It was a huge mess. I was so stressed. But she just laughed. Grabmed a rag. And started wiping it up. Said, "It’s just juice. No biggie." And she got some on her shirt. And I offered to help her clean it. And she leaned in close. To show me the spot. Her arm brushed mine. (It felt like static electricity.) I started thinking about her outside of work. When I was doing dishes. Driving the kids to school. I’d wonder what she was doing. If she was thinking about me. (Crazy right?) I’d catch myself smiling for no reason. And then I’d feel guilty. So, so guilty. My husband… he’s great. He’s a good provider. Good father. He doesn’t notice anything. Or maybe he does and he just doesn’t say. We just... exist. Together. It’s comfortable. It’s safe. It’s what I know. What I always thought I wanted. But then I see her. And I feel something else. Something I haven't felt in… I don’t even know how long. Like a spark. Like I could actually be happy. Not just okay. Not just getting by. Am I the only one who feels this way? Like, completely out of nowhere? After so long? It's like my whole life is upside down. And I don’t know what to do. Or if I should do anything. It’s terrifying. And exciting. All at once.