i just spent like my entire weekend clearing out my childhood bedroom at my parents' house bc my mom wants to turn it into like a guest room or something and honestly it was kinda wild. like i haven't really been back there properly since i moved out for college and it was just full of so much STUFF. old textbooks from high school, random art projects i forgot about, half-finished video games... but the craziest thing i found was this stack of papers in an old shoebox under my bed. it was like... poems. a whole bunch of poems. and they were all for this one girl, sarah. we were in high school together, like sophomore year. i had this MASSIVE crush on her, totally obsessed. she was super nice and we kinda hung out sometimes but it was never really like a *thing* you know? she just wasn't into me. and i guess instead of just like, talking to her or whatever, i wrote all these super dramatic, angsty poems. like "my heart bleeds for you" and "your eyes are like stars" kinda stuff. i never showed them to her, obviously. i just... wrote them. and then hid them. reading them now, i literally cringed so hard i almost threw my phone across the room. like, who WAS that kid? it's so embarrassing but also kinda... sad? like that version of me felt so much, even if it was totally over the top and kinda stupid. is that weird? to look back at something so cringe and still feel a little something for the person you were? it's like i don't even recognize that kid with all those big feelings about a girl who literally never even knew they existed. i mean i'm so different now, college is way more chill, i have friends, im actually doing okay. but seeing those poems just brought it all back for a second. it's like a ghost of who i used to be, just sitting there in my old bedroom. what am i even supposed to do with them now? throw them out? keep them for some reason? idk. it’s just kinda heavy.