This is stupid, but... I don't even know if this *is* a confession, or just... some kind of internal disequilibrium that I'm trying to externalize. It’s not a big deal but it’s been bothering me. Like, every single day, every day. My younger brother, bless his heart, he asked me for a loan. Rent, utilities, the whole overdue shebang. And I… I said no. Just flat out no. He's twenty-five. I'm thirty-one, a dentist. A *successful* dentist, apparently. We have the apartment in the city, the nice car, the whole... exterior. My husband is amazing, the kids are… kids. So, the money isn't the issue. It's genuinely not. I could transfer it right now, no impact. But I just… couldn't. And now I’m stuck in this loop, analyzing it. Am I a bad person? Is this some kind of repressed sibling rivalry manifesting as financial gatekeeping? We talk about these Freudian concepts, these subconscious drivers, and I always thought I was relatively well-adjusted. But this… this feels like a fundamental failure of empathy, or maybe a perverse act of what… object permanence denial? Like, if I don't give him the money, his problem doesn't *actually* exist? Which is obviously fallacious reasoning, I know that. Logically, it’s just… irrational. My mind knows one thing, my gut does another. It’s like a cognitive dissonance that's just vibrating constantly in my chest. Anyone else ever feel this… disjunction between what you *know* you should do, what you *can* do, and what you actually *do*? This isn't about teaching him a lesson or tough love, I swear it’s not. It feels more elemental, more… instinctual. Like a primal refusal. And it’s eating at me. Every time he texts, every time our parents mention him, this dark little current runs through me. It's not a secret. He knows I said no. But the *why*… the absolute, terrifying lack of a coherent *why* from my own internal monologue… that’s the real confession, I guess. That I don't understand my own motivations anymore. It's just… a void where the reason should be. Am I the only one who feels like they’re sometimes operating on an entirely different operating system than the one they present to the world?