Is it weird to avoid talking about past sexual experiences?

Many people prefer to keep details about their past sexual experiences private. This isn't unusual; personal history, especially intimate details, can feel very personal and not something everyone wants to share. Your past is yours, and you get to decide what, if anything, you disclose to others. There are many reasons someone might choose discretion, and all of them are valid.

Research indicates that a significant portion of individuals, around 40-50% in some surveys, report feeling uncomfortable discussing their full sexual history with new partners.

See other perspectives

Am I the only one who wants to avoid talking about past sexual experiences?

Am I the Only One?

Does everyone avoid talking about past sexual experiences?

Does Everyone?

Is it normal to avoid talking about past sexual experiences?

Is It Normal?

Why do I avoid talking about past sexual experiences?

Why Do I?

Real stories from the community

Not just the costume, you know, but the whole… *vibe* I do with the other grad students, the whole predatory intellectual dominatrix thing where I make them do extra research for me and they, like,… …

sexual shame

I dunno if this is even a real problem but I drew something the other day, just a quick sketch, and it made me feel like I was going to hell, you know? …

sexual shame

And everyone was, like, sharing these — stories, about like, their past flings and awkward dates and whatever, and I just sat there, laughing along, trying to seem engaged, but inside I was just…… …

sexual shame

Heavy equipment, moving earth, building stuff. …

sexual shame

Does everyone feel this disconnect, or is it just me, the ghost at the feast, pretending to belong? …

sexual shame

Frequently Asked Questions

Should I tell my partner everything about my sexual past?▾
You are never obligated to share every detail of your sexual history with a partner. Deciding what to share is a personal choice, and it's up to you to determine what feels comfortable and appropriate for your relationship.
What if my partner wants to know about my exes?▾
It's common for partners to be curious about past relationships. You can respond by explaining that you prefer to keep those details private, or by sharing only what you feel comfortable with, without feeling pressured to disclose more than you wish.
Is it unhealthy to not talk about past sexual trauma?▾
Choosing not to discuss past sexual trauma with a partner or others is a personal decision. Many individuals find ways to cope and heal without disclosing specific details to everyone, and that can be a healthy approach for them.

Have your own experience to share?

Share Your Story