I was almost there, like the end of the marathon was a bright light and I could smell the finish line and feel the people shouting and my legs were burning but in a good way, and then this coldness kinda washed over me, like someone dumped a bucket of ice water on my head, and I started thinking about everyone at school and my dad and the coaches and how if I actually WON it would be a BIG DEAL and then I’d have to always win and keep it up and what if I couldn’t and then running would just be work, like another shift after school, and I just wanna run to feel my feet on the pavement, not to carry all that weight, so I just... slowed down, kinda let the others pull ahead, and I felt like a TOTAL loser but also relieved, and it still feels wrong to even say it out loud...