Intrusive thoughts: You're Not the Only One

I just moved back here after college, and everyone was like "oh, you'll love it, it's so peaceful," and it is, I guess, but peaceful can also mean stifling, especially when you're the new librarian… …

No more dealing with overdue fines or explaining the Dewey Decimal system for the hundredth time. …

And I was on the bridge, the big one over the estuary, which always makes me a little uneasy anyway, even in broad daylight. …

I was stuck at that REALLY long light at Elm and 5th today, delivering another stupid box of overpriced artisanal pickles or whatever, and I swear, for a split second, I just thought, "What if I… …

I was out delivering this past Tuesday, just another shift, and the weather had really turned, a proper deluge, and I was on the old Bay Bridge, the really high one that always makes me feel a bit… …

I have this thing, this horrible thought that pops up whenever I'm driving across the big bridge over the bay – especially when it's raining buckets, you know, that grey sheeting kind of rain. …

I remember standing at the front of that auditorium, presenting my capstone project on urban planning demographics, twenty years old and acutely aware of the silence. …

I’m talking about some kind of internal, instantaneous implosion of all social decorum and the thin veneer of civility we humans operate under. …

It was my final presentation for the Capstone project – the big one, the make-or-break for my portfolio, the thing that’s supposed to launch me into… well, something. …

Okay so this is going to sound absolutely insane, and I know it, I really do, but I need to know if anyone else has ever felt this kind of visceral, almost violent urge to just completely detonate a… …

I deliver for one of those meal kit services now, since retirement didn't exactly align with my financial planning. …

Like just now, I was behind this patron in the checkout line – quiet, like a normal Tuesday – and I just had this urge to yell the most awful, like, creatively offensive stuff at them. …

You ever just… feel something clawing at the back of your throat, something sharp and hot, when everything around you is DEAD quiet? …

) Just totally unprovoked, absolute verbal assault. …

I was rocking him, almost asleep, and for a split second, I just wanted to drop him—like, *really* wanted to—and then I wanted to punch myself for even thinking it, because what kind of monster am I… …

i dont even know what the fuck is wrong with me lately it’s like my brain just snaps sometimes and decides to go full blown psychotic for absolutely no reason and it’s always in the worst possible… …

Not just a scream, but a string of the most vile, unholy insults I could conjure up, just to see what would happen. …

We talk about intrusive thoughts, but this felt different, almost... …

i remember holding my son when he was tiny a real wisp of a thing all swaddled and smelling like baby powder and formula and there i am in the glider in the nursery the little night light glowing… …

I was delivering dim sum today, stuck at that huge five-way intersection near the market, you know the one. …