Can't sleep. Again. It's just... the report. This stupid sustainability report. Been staring at it for weeks. Or months? Feels like forever. Everything green, green, green. Big numbers, good numbers, how much better we're doing. All the graphs going up and up. And they're about to make a huge deal. Like, HUGE. Company-wide, big press, everyone's so jazzed about this "green investment" that's gonna save the planet and our stock price. And I found a thing. A little thing. Not little. It's actually a big thing. A big, fat, messy error. In the data. Makes it look way better than it is. Like, we're not quite as... good... as they say. Not by a long shot.
And I know what I should do. Tell someone. My boss, HR, whoever. But then what? This whole thing blows up. The investment. All that excitement. It all goes sideways. And I'm the one. ME. The one who brought it up. The one who ruined it. And then what about my job? My job. After all these years. After everything. Who's gonna hire someone my age with a "problem solver" reputation like that? And Mom's doctor bills. And Sarah's college loans. And the house needs a new roof. AGAIN. It's never-ending. Just never-ending. One thing after another after another. Always someone needing something. Always me.
So I just sit here. With this report. This stupid report. And this error. In my head. In my gut. It’s eating at me. I feel like a... like a fraud. Just letting it go. Letting them lie. But what choice do I have? Seriously. What choice? Because if I say something, I lose everything. And if I don't, I still lose something. My peace. My sleep. My god, my sleep. Just want to sleep. Just want one night where my brain isn’t going a million miles an hour about some numbers some junior analyst probably messed up on purpose. Or didn't. Who knows. Just want it to be over. But it won't be. Not ever. Will it?
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