I just... I don't even know what to call this feeling, you know? Like, it’s not exactly regret, not exactly anger, but it’s this hollow ache right behind my sternum that just WON'T go away. So, basically, I spent my entire weekend doing a full redesign for Mark. Mark, the senior designer who, like, *knew* I had plans. Big plans. My family reunion, the one we’ve been trying to get together for literally three years? Yeah, that. My cousin Sarah was flying in from Perth, Aunt Carol from, like, Nova Scotia, and I was supposed to be there Friday afternoon, driving the rental van with all the coolers. Instead, I was staring at a Figma file at 11:30 PM Friday, Saturday, and Sunday, because Mark needed "fresh eyes" on a "critical client deck" that was, get this, due Monday morning. He asked me on Thursday afternoon, and I could practically feel the words "no, I can't" forming, but then my brain just went straight to "uncooperative," "not a team player," "lacking commitment" – all the keywords from my last performance review. And before I knew it, I was saying yes, like a total Pavlovian response. And the worst part? My mom called, like, three times. I kept telling her I was "on my way" and "just hitting traffic" and finally just… ghosted her for a few hours. I saw the photos pop up on Instagram, all my cousins doing the stupid dance we always do, and Sarah's new baby, and I just… stared at the screen. I feel this weird sense of injustice, but also… total complicity? Like, I chose this, right? I could have said no. But then the anxiety kicks in, that feeling of being perceived as difficult, and it just shuts down any ability to assert myself. It's almost like a learned helplessness, you know? Like, I'm genuinely trying to understand the psychological mechanism here, because it feels like I'm stuck in this loop where I prioritize avoiding negative social perception over my own well-being. And now I’m sitting here, it's 2:17 AM on Monday, my eyes feel like sandpaper, and the deck is… fine. It’s totally fine. And I missed everything. And I just don't know what to do with this feeling. Is this normal? To feel so utterly depleted but also… like it was entirely my fault?