I totally screwed up. And I know it, okay? I know I did. I just… I don’t know. This whole thing is so stupid. It started with Mark, my senior manager, asking me to do something. Something small. Like, "Hey, can you just whip this up for me? Won't take long." And I could've just said no. I mean, it was 4:45 on a Friday, and I had plans. REAL plans. Plans involving actually seeing another human being who isn’t a toddler for more than five minutes. But then he kinda squinted at me? Like I was gonna disappoint him. Like I was gonna let him down. And I just… froze. My whole stomach just dropped. So I said yes. And then he was like, "Oh awesome, while you're at it, can you also look at this other thing? And this, and this." THREE extra projects. For the weekend. All because I couldn’t just say "nope, sorry, can't." Why am I like this? Why do I always do this? It's not even about the work, really. I mean, it is, because now my entire weekend is shot. Poof. Gone. But it's more about that feeling. That little gut punch of disappointment. Like someone's looking at me like I'm not good enough, or I’m letting them down. Even if it’s just for like, a second. A micro-expression. I swear I see it everywhere. And I just can’t… I can't let that happen. Not after everything. So I just swallow it. Swallow the no, swallow the exhaustion, swallow my actual life. And then I’m stuck. Here I am, 2 AM, staring at spreadsheets, while my sister-in-law probably thinks I hate her because I cancelled AGAIN. I hate myself more, honestly. And the worst part? I’m going to do it again. Next time someone at work gives me that look, that tiny flicker of "oh, you can't handle it?" I’m gonna say yes again. Because it’s easier than that tiny moment of feeling like a failure. It’s easier than explaining why I can’t, why I’m already stretched so thin I might just snap. Because I have to be the one who does everything. All the time. For everyone. And nobody ever sees it. They just see the smile and the "sure, no problem!" while inside I'm just screaming. I’m just so tired of being the person who never disappoints anyone. Except myself. Every single time.