I don't really know where to start, like this feels kinda stupid to even write. But my chest feels all tight and buzzy, like when you drink too much soda, and it’s just me and my phone screen so… I guess here goes. I moved here like, a few months ago? For my dad’s new job, he’s like, an IT manager, kinda boring but whatever. Anyway, my old city was super small, everyone knew everyone. Here it’s like a whole ocean and I'm just a little rock sinking to the bottom. School’s fine, I mean, I have lunch with some people, they’re nice. But the weekends are just… empty. Like a big empty box you thought was gonna have something cool in it, but it’s just dust. I tried, seriously I did. My mom made me go to some online groups, like for D&D (cringe I know but it was a thing back home) and some parkour one which sounds cool but everyone else was like, ripped and knew each other already. It was like walking into a party where everyone suddenly stops talking and just stares. My face got all hot, I could feel it, like it was on fire. I mumbled something and kinda just… left. The bus ride home felt like a million years, watching all the lights fly past, people laughing inside stores and stuff. It felt like they were all part of something and I was just looking through a window, pressing my nose against the cold glass. My phone never rang. Never got a text back from anyone in those groups. It’s like, they just forgot I even existed before I even really got to exist, you know? So now it’s just me and my room, usually. Or I go wander around the library pretending to look for a book, but really I just like being around other people, even if they’re not talking to me. It’s better than the quiet in my apartment. That quiet is LOUD sometimes, like a roar in my ears. My dad tries, he says “go out! explore!” but it’s not that easy. Everyone already has their crews, their inside jokes, their plans that started like, years ago. I’m just standing on the outside looking in, and the door feels locked. And the worst part is, I don’t even know what I’m supposed to do to get in. It feels like this is just how it is now. And that thought is like, a physical weight sometimes. Makes it hard to breathe.