Is it just me or does anyone else feel like their entire existence hinges on… what, a Tuesday morning at 9am? Like, seriously. I’ve been putting this revitalization project together for MONTHS, poring over spreadsheets after the kids are finally asleep, trying to make sure every single detail is perfect. Every single day, every day, I’m sketching out new ideas, calling people who probably think I’m insane, dreaming about new park benches and community gardens and a real sense of togetherness in this neighborhood. My little ones, they’re amazing, don’t get me wrong, but sometimes I feel like I’m disappearing into their needs, you know? And this project, it’s not just about cleaning up the block or whatever, it’s about proving to myself, to my husband, to ANYONE that I can actually DO something bigger than just… being here. That I have something to offer beyond endless loads of laundry and refereeing toy fights. And now it’s almost here. The kick-off event. The *big reveal*. And I’m just staring at the clock, watching the minutes tick by, and my stomach is in knots because what if nobody shows up? What if all those flyers, all those emails, all those conversations were just… noise? What if I stand there, smiling brightly with my clipboard and my perfectly planned itinerary, and there are just… crickets? And the two other people who said they’d definitely be there? I can already picture it, the awkward silence, the slow realization that I’ve misread everything, that I don’t have whatever it takes to rally people, to inspire them. Humans, we’re so fickle, aren’t we? We say we want change, we say we want better, but then… the couch is just so comfy. Am I the only one who feels this crushing weight of expectation, this desperate need for external validation disguised as altruism? Like, if this fails, if people don’t show up, it’s not just a failed project. It’s a failed *me*. It’s proof that I’m not a leader, that I’m not capable of making a real difference, that maybe I should just stay in my lane, stay home, and accept that my contribution to the world is going to be limited to perfectly packed lunchboxes and bedtime stories. God. I’m scared. I am so, so scared. Anyone else ever feel like their whole worth is about to be put on blast, live, in front of a completely empty park?