I just got home, it’s like 1:47 AM, I think. Had a performance tonight, the big one, the solo piece I’ve been practicing for like six months. It went... fine. More than fine, actually. Flawless, even. I walked out on stage, played every note exactly where it needed to be, perfect tempo, perfect vibrato, perfect everything. The audience stood up, a whole wave of people, clapping and shouting. My professor looked SO pleased. I bowed, twice, then once more just to be sure. Smiled like I meant it. But the whole time, from the first note to the final bow, I felt absolutely nothing. No nerves, no excitement, not even a tiny bit of pride when they all stood up. It was just… mechanical. Like I was watching someone else do it. My brain was already calculating the drive home, the twenty minutes it would take, whether I’d have time to eat something before crashing, what I had to do for my 9 AM class tomorrow. I got into my car, drove home, and now I’m here, staring at the screen. Is that weird? To nail something huge, something I’ve worked on for half a year, and feel only a vague desire to just GO TO BED? Everyone always talks about the rush, the feeling of accomplishment. My mom already texted me like three times asking if I felt amazing. I just texted back "Yeah, it was great!" because what else do you say? I’m exhausted, but not in a satisfying way. More like a system shutdown. I put the violin back in its case, wiped it down just like I always do, set it on the stand. I just… want to sleep for like a week straight. And then do it all again, I guess. It’s what I’m supposed to do.