Anxiety hiding: You're Not the Only One

sat there in the board meeting, laughing along with everyone else at Dave’s dumb joke about supply chains, palms sweating so much I had to casually wipe ‘em on my trousers under the table, feeling… …

You see it sometimes, the tremble. …

I laughed, a real honest-to-god bark that probably sounded a bit unhinged in the boardroom, as Mark recounted his golf course mishap. …

I was reciting the specials, kinda like a robot, and my brain was screaming for me to just bail, run out the back and keep going, but I guess after all the deployments you just sort of… keep serving,… …

I went on a third date last night. …

You spend, what, five years of your life, well actually it feels like more, more like ten years if you count all the thinking about it and getting the recommendations and feeling like you HAD to do… …

I saw this kid today, high schooler laughing with his friends in the hall, and for a split second, a real quick second, I had this flash of pure panic like I was back there and had to hide it, act… …

All those years of barely scraping by, the ramen noodles, the credit card debt piling up because "art is important," right? …

I was just at the playground, you know, doing the dad thing, chasing my kid, smiling at all the other parents, and inside my head it was just, like, a ticker tape of red bills, electric, gas,… …

Like, I made myself talk super low so he wouldn't hear my stomach rumble. …

I’m at the playground right? …

i dont even know why im writing this like who cares really right but its 2 am and my brain just wont shut up about it i was at the park today with the little one you know the usual pushing him on… …

In a BOARD MEETING. …

omg like my head is still buzzing from tonight 7 tables back to back the pasta special perfectly recited but all i wanted was to lock myself in the walk-in and cry while thinking about that calc exam… …

i just— this thing happened today in a board meeting, yeah? …

I just defended my thesis. …

I just laughed, a real honest laugh, at some dumb joke in a board meeting, and all I could think about was the sweat on my palms. …

Like I was in a performance review, giving a confident update on a struggling project. …

I just sat through a whole damn quarterly review meeting. …

I mean full-blown, ugly-crying, chest heaving, snot running down my face, sobbing. …