I went on a third date last night. Or, I guess it was last night, technically it’s already past midnight so I guess it was… hours ago now. Yeah. Third date. With Mark. He’s a nice guy, really. Like, genuinely nice. He’s got that kinda quiet thing going on, you know? The kind where you wonder if he’s actually deep or just… not really talking. But he’s not bad looking. Works over at the feed store. Everyone knows him, obviously. This town. You trip over your own feet and someone’s already calling your mother to tell her about it. Anyway, we went to the diner, the only one open past 8, and we were just talking, nothing crazy, about the weather, about the new stop sign they put in down by the creek, I mean it's thrilling stuff, really. And he asked me, just out of the blue, if I was okay. And I said “Yeah, why wouldn’t I be?” I swear my voice was steady. It was. I made sure of it. And he just looked at me, kinda… quizzical? And said, “You just seem… a little quiet. Like you’re somewhere else.” And my heart, it didn’t even flutter. Not a beat. Just… kept going. Normal speed. Like someone had just said "Pass the salt." Which is weird, right? Because I knew exactly what he was talking about. I’ve been feeling it all day, all week really. That… distance. Like I’m watching myself, like a movie, but I’m not even the main character, I’m just like, an extra in the background. Is that weird? Does everyone feel this? Then he asked me what I was thinking about. And for a split second, I almost told him. About my ex, Carl, who said the exact same thing to me, word for word, basically, before he left. About how it just… slides off me. Like water on a duck’s back, my grandmother used to say. About how I could feel myself pulling away, even while I was sitting there across from him, sipping my coffee, nodding and smiling. And I should probably CARE more. About Carl. About Mark. About… me. But I just don't. It’s like there’s this… layer. A thick one. Between me and everything else. I mean, I just wanted to say, “Hey, this is me. This is what it’s like. I’m here, but I’m also not here, and I don’t know how to fix it.” But what’s the point? He wouldn’t get it. Nobody here would get it. They’d just say, “Oh, honey, you just need a good man,” or “You’re just too independent,” or some other nonsense. So I just laughed and said, “Oh, just thinking about what to get for my mom’s birthday, you know how it is.” And he smiled, and we moved on. Talked about the harvest. And I kept my voice steady. It’s always steady. Which is probably the problem, isn’t it? So now I’m here, it’s like, almost 3 AM, and I can’t sleep. And it’s not because I’m upset. It’s just… quiet. Too quiet. And I’m still here, watching. Wondering if I should call him tomorrow. He seems nice enough. And what else am I gonna do? There’s only so many single men who live within a fifty-mile radius who aren’t already related to me. It’s not like I have a ton of options. So I’ll probably call him. And I’ll keep my voice steady.