I guess I just… exist now? Like I’m on autopilot, sorta. Today, this lady, she comes in, right, and she’s got this whole pile of stuff, I mean, like, half the store practically, and this coupon, this EXPIRED coupon, that she just *insists* I have to take. And I’m just standing there, doing the whole customer service smile thing, you know, the one where your face muscles kinda cramp up but you just keep going, and I’m explaining, like, very calmly, that it’s expired, it’s literally been expired for two weeks, and she just looks at me like I’m the biggest idiot she’s ever encountered, like I personally set the expiration date just to inconvenience *her*. She starts going on about how I clearly don’t understand how the world works, or how to treat a ‘valued customer’, which is rich, because her tone was anything but valuable, and I just stood there, kinda like a mannequin, I guess, just nodding and saying the polite things, the scripts they teach us, while she basically called me stupid for not making an exception for her because she’s, like, clearly above all the rules. It’s wild, because it should hurt, right? Someone just openly insulting your intelligence like that, it should sting, but I just felt… nothing. Just this flat, empty feeling. Like, oh, another Tuesday. And I’m 38, you know? Not a kid just starting out. I have a degree, kinda, in something totally unrelated that I don't use, and I used to have, like, actual aspirations, not just for a better hourly wage, but for… something more. Something with meaning, I guess. I used to think I’d be doing something completely different by now, maybe living somewhere with a yard, not in this tiny apartment in the city where everything costs too much and you’re always just a few paychecks from being in real trouble. And here I am, smiling blandly at some rich lady who thinks I’m a moron because I can’t magically un-expire her coupon, and I just… don’t care. Not about her, not about the coupon, not even about myself, really. It’s like I'm watching a movie of my own life, and the main character is just… meh. Indifferent. That’s probably not good, is it? To feel so utterly… flat. It’s not depression, I don't think, because I’m not sad. Just… not much of anything else either. Just existing, waiting for the shift to end, waiting for the next one, waiting for… what? I don’t even know.